I usually write these posts when I’m having a moment or feeling inspired. Know that when I write these #MondayMantra posts I am 100% on this journey with you.
This weekend for the first time in I can’t tell you how long, that I woke up with a clear mind. I saw the sun shining through the windows and felt grateful and happy. There really wasn’t anything extraordinary about that day. I met someone for brunch, did yoga in the afternoon and went grocery shopping. I noticed the difference in my mood and thought man, I haven’t felt this way in such a long time.
The last few months had been kinda tough on me. I didn’t feel positively about my image when I looked at myself in a mirror – and those “oh my, someone’s put on a few love pounds” comments during the holidays didn’t help either. I felt like I was constantly stressed and overwhelmed. Some nights I would sit in my shower and cry in an effort to do anything to get all the negative energy out of me. I get emotional even thinking about it now.
I won’t bore you with the details but what was really troubling me was yesterday and tomorrow’s problems. As I’m sure you’ll hear me write about in future posts I was and still am experiencing a lot of change in my life. Change has always been hard for me. I got dealt a few difficult blows in my personal life and I was terrified of the life I had ahead of me. At no moment in these last few months did I ever stop to be fully present in the moment.
This weekend I woke up and thought about what a beautiful day it was. I was excited to go to one of my favorite brunch spots and hopefully do something nice for myself. As I was driving around Atlanta in my blissful mood I felt this calm sense of contentment kind of wash over me.
I thought “Man, today I have no problems,” and “how lucky am I to be driving around on this beautiful day without a care in the world”. Now, my problems didn’t magically disappear. But this weekend I decided to focus on the present moment.
I’m a graduate student, a few months away from graduation, life is a little hectic. However, I decided not to think about what was going to happen in the week ahead. I made the decision to simply enjoy what is. What was or what will be didn’t really cross my mind because they didn’t seem to have as much power as what was actually taking place right now.
It’s totally natural to worry about what’s going to happen or sometimes to dwell on what a shitty week it was or how horrible that group project meeting was. We have to make the conscious decision to understand that the only thing we really have is the now. And if you’re reading this, right now, with a roof over your head, food in your belly, and people who truly love you –how unbelievably lucky are you!
I wish you all a magical week!5