HerTwenties.com| A blog because your twenties matter

I was watching a really cute video by Michelle Phan last night where she answered questions from her viewers and gave advice. One of her subscribers asked her about dealing with a friendship that just wasn’t working out. Michelle said something amazing that really struck a chord with me. She answered by saying that although we think friendship is forever, she believes that it is fleeting. By our nature people change as they grow, develop and experience new things. Most of the time that means the friendship changes too. An important part of friendship is knowing when to let go.

This week’s mantra is really about putting yourself first.

It doesn’t need to be a friendship with one of the girls but it is about your relationship with anything that may be doing you harm. This might be a dangerous relationship with food, or even working out. It could be that situationship with the guy or gal that never seems to give you everything you need but you just can’t let go. This could even mean letting go of your own negative and self hating thoughts that are holding you back from realizing your greatest potential.

Part of practicing positivity is knowing where sources of negativity are coming from your life.

One of my sorority sisters so graciously said once “friendships come for a season and a reason, some seasons are longer than others”.

I must admit that I have a difficult time letting go of people that I have known for a while. When you think about the good times you’ve had together it makes it really hard to let go of them or move on. One thing I had to understand is just because a friendship’s season might be over, it doesn’t make the fun times any less fun or the lessons you learned from it any less important.

I have learned the tough lessons of not letting go of things and relationships that are weighing me down. I had to learn to occasionally stop and take inventory of what I have and whom I interact with. After talking to so and so, do I feel positive, uplifted and happy? Or do I feel bogged down with gossip and a little more negative than I did prior to the conversation. Do I have people in my life that are supportive of my dreams and aspirations? Do I even feel comfortable telling the people in my life about my dreams and aspirations? ← That has been the toughest question to ask. If you can’t tell the closest people in your life what you want out of life without fear of being judged and ridiculed than it may not be time to let your dreams go, but them instead.

Just because something or someone has always been a part of your life doesn’t mean they need to be forever. Remember that in any relationship you have at least 50% control. If you are chatting with your friend and you hear it getting a little catty- don’t engage, try and steer the conversation in another direction. If you have a friend that isn’t the most supportive try being supportive of them, positivity is wildly contagious. But if none of that seems to do the job, take a step back and try spending more time with those that make you feel good about yourself and life. People that make you feel excited about the amazing future you have ahead of you. You might even be the negative, jealous and unsupportive friend. It is never to soon to turn over a new leaf and start being more positive. If your actions don’t reflect the person you want them to then I have great news for you. Only you have the power to change them.

And when it comes to yourself you are in 100% control. If your thoughts aren’t honoring you, it makes it a little harder for things around you to honor you as well. Don’t let negative thoughts get the best of you this week. A book I am reading called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, talks about identifying when a negative thought creeps up in your mind. Take a moment to acknowledge it, realize that it is there and then move on. This has been one of the most powerful tools I have learned. Negative thoughts feed off of your energy often leaving you drained. But the beauty of thought is that you have the absolute power to not let it consume you. Most of the battle is merely realizing that you are having the thought, the rest comes from the strength you have inside to not let it get the best of you, or realize that it is a worthless and silly thought. Being positive all the time is not easy at all, its almost like a second full time job. But as long as you are trying your best that is all that really matters.

Practice this mantra with me this week and let me know how it goes for you! I wish you guys a productive week full of happiness and success.