If you’ve been rocking with HerTwenties for some time you’ll know this isn’t the first time I’ve done this Mantra. It still holds as much value to me as the first time I did it, and this week… I really need it.
You see, while I’ve been away from here I have been in some kind of slump. Nothing too dramatic, just haven’t been feeling 100% myself. I am a true Libra so by nature I crave balance. When I’m feeling unbalanced everything just seems like its falling apart, even if that’s the farthest from the truth.
I’ve been beating myself up because honestly I have no reason to be unhappy or down.
When I am at work sometimes I feel like I have literally no idea what I’m doing. Being the youngest person at your job never helps, everyone loves to watch the millennial scramble around. The minute I leave work I call my mom and complain to her about this or that. But at the end of the day… I have a job. I have an incredible job and I love what I do. My job pays all of my bills and allows for extra luxuries like cocktails and dessert when I’m eating out. If you know the struggle, you’ll catch my drift there.
I come home and sift through texts, often unanswered from a usually sweet guy I met over the weekend. Notice I said unanswered. Now a disclaimer, anyone that knows me would say I’m a horrible texter. But why am I pushing off advances? Maybe I don’t feel worthy of any advances right now. Maybe I’m not as strong as I think and I still feel a little broken on the inside.
I haven’t checked the HerTwenties instagram account in weeks, why? Cause I feel like absolute crap that I let something I love so much just drift off. I didn’t write anything cause I don’t feel 100% – which makes me feel even worse.
My point in all of this is that everyday won’t be a good day or a great day. Sometimes it feels like your days are running you instead of you running them. Sometimes, even though you are beyond blessed, you’ll feel like crap. These days come… and eventually they go. Forgiving yourself is essential in self-love. If you’ve been holding on to something or been unusually critical of yourself – know that at any time, preferably when you’re ready, you can let it go, forgive yourself and move on.
Hope to see you soon.