3 mistakes you are making as a 20-something ...

Let's start this week's newsletter with a quote I have been thinking about recently.

This quote makes my heart skip a beat.

This quote makes my palms sweat and sends my perfectionist brain into a panic. 

Then I remember …

Henry Ford was 45 when he created the Model T car.

Vera Wang started designing her own dresses at age 40. 

Toni Morrison wrote her first novel, "The Bluest Eye," at age 40 while working at Random House as an editor.

Oprah was 32 years old when The Oprah Winfrey Show started. 

Stan Lee created his first successful comic at age 38.

Okay? So, if these people were not successful until their 30s and 40s, then maybe I wouldn’t need to sweat over my twenties. Perhaps I don’t need to be in such a rush; maybe I can relax?

But let’s rephrase this…

T is the 20th letter in the alphabet, so Henry Ford had at least 19 other car models before the Model T. 

Vera Wang worked at Yves Saint Laurent during summers as a college student. She also worked as a fashion editor at Vogue for almost 20 years before creating her own brand. 

Toni Morrison worked at Random House as an editor for 20 years before her first novel came out. 

Oprah started as a news anchor for CBS at 19. 

Stan Lee started working at Timely Comics at 17 years old; within two years, he was working on Captain America comics with Jack Kirby.

So, these people were not successful until their 30s and 40s, but they were patiently and consistently working towards success during that time. 

I have been so caught up in wanting to succeed in something that I have consistently worked towards nothing. 

This is something that I think most 20-somethings are getting caught in right now. 

We live in an age where people gain overnight popularity and become successful at such young ages. 

This causes everyone to be in a panic to get to success faster.

But is getting to success faster actually helpful in any way?

I like to think of the Disney stars for this. 

Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, and Demi Lovato are great examples of extremely young people who experienced success and fame very early in their lives. 

They are not internet stars, but they are entertainment stars who we have all clearly seen life be amazing to and then extremely cruel to. 

Their pendulum swung extremely high into the success realm and then very low into the realm of their life, being a big mess. 

Sure, they might be starting to stabilize now, but not without experiencing extreme lows.

What does this have to do with you?

I am starting to wonder why I want success exceptionally quickly. 

Some of my favorite artists have just been on a gradual progression towards success. 

These artists spent many years being patient and consistent until they reached their mainstream success level. 

My favorite example of this is Casey Neistat. 

He is a fantastic filmmaker and has become massively successful through his YouTube videos, but he worked on his filmmaking skills for twenty years before this mainstream success. 

He practiced consistency and patience daily.

3 Mistakes you (& I) are making

1. Creating a concrete plan and not allowing yourself to deviate from the plan at all

• A concrete plan does not leave room for error 

• You have an idea of exactly what you want and are following an extreme plan to get there. This plan leaves no room for error; you are miserable doing it. 

• I believe that you need to be disciplined, and sometimes that isn’t enjoyable. But following a plan just because it was what you saw for yourself a few years ago is not a great idea. 

• Adapting and changing your plan according to new interests will bring you a more full, diverse, and meaningful life.

2. Not taking Hofstadter's Law into account

• Hofstadter's law states that a project always takes longer than expected, even when the law is considered.

• You are getting upset at yourself for not being successful quickly enough, but you must realize that life happens and it is just a rule of the universe that everything takes longer than expected.

3. Chasing something that is not aligned with your true values or not even knowing what your true values are

• You are chasing something without any depth behind your reason for chasing it. 

• Take time to be aware of what you genuinely value, then pursue something that aligns with those values. 

• Determine what you value through experience.

How to not make these mistakes

1. Create a plan but allow for a margin of safety or room for error 

• “Margin of safety is raising the odds of success at a given level of risk by increasing your chances of survival.” - Morgan Housel

• Allow room for error because error is inevitable.

2. Realize that your plan will take significantly longer than you think; realize this is a blessing.

• Quick success is full of turmoil. 

• Long-term success is full of fulfillment.

3. Chase real-life experiences so that you can be fully aware of what you value and want out of life

• Try different jobs.

• Immerse yourself in different cultures.

• Speak to unique people.

Success needs to be worked on in your twenties so that you can enjoy the fruits of your labor in your thirties and forties. 

Spend your twenties being unrecognized for the amount of work you do so that you can be calm about the huge recognition you will receive when you are older. 

Use your twenties to explore.

Use your thirties to build upon one skill you are passionate about.

Use your forties to become a master in that field.

That’s a wrap for this week’s newsletter!

Merry Christmas, everyone! 

p.s. I listen to many podcasts, read many books, and consume a lot of self-help/healing content, and I would love to share the best ideas with you! If you want to receive little snippets of wisdom and inspiration, click the link below to sign up for Her Twenties Daily Inspiration! (a daily text messaging service)