Manifesting for the New Year is BullSH*T :

Manifesting is one of the biggest trends among women in the wellness community. 

Manifesting is just another scam to make money off women’s hopes and dreams. 

Just wish and dream, and then everything will come true! - This is the message I receive from everyone speaking about manifestation on the internet. 

This message sounds so easy! 

In fact, I tried manifesting my dreams last year, and guess what… none of it came true!

I am all for spirituality and believing in a divine connection to the universe, but realistically, manifestation alone will not get you any closer to your dreams.

Consistency > Manifesting

I had a revelation about all this on a hike recently.

I just started getting into writing and social media again and was once again trying to manifest it all. 

While on this hike, I spent the first 20 minutes gasping for air, my lungs burning, and cramps in my stomach. I was questioning my existence and feeling slightly angry at my boyfriend for suggesting this hike.

But then something happened …

Once I got to the first peak, my lungs suddenly stopped burning, and I didn’t feel the need to turn back around anymore. 

I had taken thousands of steps to reach that peak, and then I finally hit the breakthrough point that allowed me to start enjoying the hike. 

I didn’t hope and wish that the hike would get better; I just told myself to keep taking it one step at a time. 

One step at a time.

After this hike, I started to think about this idea a lot. - The idea that we have to do almost everything in life one step at a time until we break through the threshold where it doesn’t suck anymore.

Repeated actions over time lead to an abundant result. 

Think of a rock at the beach that constantly has waves crashing against it. Each wave that hits that rock doesn’t create a measurable change to the structure of the rock, but over a thousand years, there is a noticeable difference. There is a change in the rock where the waves had crashed into it. 

A flowy structure like water has the ability to change a solid structure like a rock with a small action every day. 

When people go to the gym or go on a run one time, there is no difference in their physique, but if they go every day for three months, you will notice a significant difference. 

You don’t fall in love with someone instantly; you build a relationship with them over the years through small actions that create trust and intimacy. 

We all know this, so why don’t we apply this to our life? Why would we rather tell people what we are manifesting? Or why do we only do something when we feel motivated? 

The simple answer: More dopamine. 

It’s way more rewarding to our TikTok-addicted brains to do something that gives you an immediate “result” or the feeling of getting an immediate result.

Doing something when you are not motivated and can’t see a result releases a lot less dopamine than doing something when you are motivated or can see an immediate result. 

BUT, doing something when it doesn’t feel great leads to a huge feeling of accomplishment when you actually reach the end.

The first 20 minutes of the hike sucks, but getting to the peak or finishing the hike is HIGHLY rewarding. 

When starting something new, most of us get stuck and quit in the ‘first 20 minutes of the hike’. 

I don’t think I ever really made it past the first 20 minutes of the hike in anything. Often, the ‘first 20 minutes’ in an art or career could be the first 20 years. 

This concept is well represented in the book “Flow” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. He says, “Most enjoyable activities are not natural; they demand an effort that initially one is reluctant to make. But once the interaction starts to provide feedback to the person's skills, it usually begins to be intrinsically rewarding.”. 

The point is you need to consistently show up in something that you are new at until you start to receive feedback. You can’t give up before you don’t receive any feedback. 

Csikszentmihalyi also states that “rules themselves are clear enough, and within everyone’s reach. But many forces, both within ourselves and in the environment, stand in the way. It is a little like trying to lose weight: everyone knows what it takes, everyone wants to do it, yet it is next to impossible for so many.”

We often know exactly what we need to do, but we are often unwilling to show up and do the thing. 

A corny phrase that motivates me when I don’t want to show up is the quote from Yoda: “Do or do not; there is no try.” 

If there is a life you want to live, and you have a clear vision of where you want to go, you have no other option than to do. 

By manifesting without working on your dream, you lower your self-esteem daily. You are speaking to your heart and saying that you want something that you are incapable of working towards. 

But you are capable. You just need to prove to yourself that you are capable by showing up daily and doing the work. 

Here are the 6 steps that will help you create your dream life.

One more thing you need to know before you create your dream life…

You often resist the exact thing that will take you there. 

What is resistance? 

Resistance is a nuanced topic well-defined in the book “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield. 

You should read the book to understand the concept fully. (It’s a very short read.)

I will quickly explain …

Resistance can be defined as the thing always standing in the way of what we want to accomplish in life. 

Resistance can often show us what we will probably be good at because we typically resist doing what we know will get us closer to our dreams. 

Steven Pressfield says,

Now, let’s start creating your dream life.

You need to get clear on what it is you are resisting by writing out your vision and your anti-vision. 

1. Write down the anti-vision of your life.

• What is the worst position you could be in 5 years from now? 

  • What job do you have?

  • Who are you surrounded by?

  • Where are you living?

  • What are you spending your money on?

• Write down your worst idea of a day in your life. (Maybe it’s the life you’re living right now.)

  • Hour by hour how are you filling your time in your anti-vision.

2. Write down the vision for your future.

• What does the ideal day in your life look like?

  • Write down every hour of the day and how you would want to fill that time in your dream life. There is no limit to what you can do. 

• Where are you living?

• Who are you surrounded by?

• How much money are you making?

• What are you spending that money on?

3. Discover what you are resisting.

• Write down all the hobbies or careers you are potentially interested in. 

• Which ones have you been resisting the most?

4.  Break what you are resisting down to its most basic form.

• If you want to be a filmmaker… do you take videos on your phone?

• If you want to be an author… do you even write in a journal? 

• If you want to be a musician… do you even practice music? 

• This list could go on and on; you get the idea.

5. Practice that daily.

• If you want to be a writer, start by writing in a journal daily. 

• If you don’t like that - practice something else on your interest list daily until you discover something that allows you to get into a flow state.

• Try everything for at least 30 days.

6. Build upon your skill.

• Start with a small amount of time each day and slowly dedicate more time and energy to your skill. 

• Start journaling for a few minutes daily for 30 days, then add another form of writing in there. 

• Start taking a video of something interesting on your phone daily and edit those things together.

Stop manifesting; start doing. 

Start doing, and then maybe you can manifest on top of that foundation of practicing a skill daily. 

Do the work you have been resisting. Everything else is extra.

Wishing you the happiest New Year! 

Thank you for being a subscriber! I am so excited to see where we will take Her Twenties in 2024! 

p.s. I listen to many podcasts, read many books, and consume a lot of self-help/healing content, and I would love to share the best ideas with you! If you want to receive little snippets of wisdom and inspiration, click the link below to sign up for Her Twenties Daily Inspiration! (a daily text messaging service)