HerTwenties.com| A blog because your twenties matter

My Philosophy on Dating in Your Twenties

July 25, 2016 2 Comments

Dating is a serious topic during your twenties and reasonably so. Our society says that this is the time you nail down your life partner, get married and start popping out kids like a factory.

I have seen it all, heard it all and done it all when it comes to dating advice. Making a wish list, screening guys on the first date for qualities, knowing your non-negotiables… and the list goes on and on. There are books and movies on how to understand how a man thinks to find your perfect man (I hate to be heteronormative here). I’ve read them and watched them. I’ll save the why I hate them all rant for another post.

My philosophy on dating is so unbelievably simple. It revolves around the law of attraction. The idea behind of the law of attraction is whatever energy you put out the universe will bring it back to you. If you are in a horrible mood and thinking this is the worst day ever, inevitably the dominoes fall and you end up with a parking ticket or a flat tire. I think this same law applies to dating.

Let’s just get to the point here. If you aren’t happy on the inside, happy with your life, in love with yourself- what kind of partner do you think that will attract? Have you ever noticed that toxic relationships from your past usually came at a time when you were in a bad place with clouded judgment?

When you are living your life 100% and doing things you love you will attract a person in the same mental place. Positivity, confidence and happiness radiate out of people. My only rule of dating advice- focus on being the best version of you. When you aren’t even expecting it the universe will bring to you someone who is absolutely perfect for you.

When I say the best version of you that could mean different things to different people. I will leave that up to your interpretation. Believe me – we have time! I know that’s not what the blogs and experts say but its true! Use this time to focus on yourself and live the life you’ve always wanted. He or she will come! And they will be world’s better than anything you could’ve drawn up or imagined for yourself.

Say you aren’t you’re best you right now. That doesn’t mean you still shouldn’t date or be social. Actively work on creating “the you” you’ve always wanted and who knows, the universe might send you someone who can help you get to the next level.

Dating can be discouraging, to say the least. Don’t ever take yourself for granted, belittle yourself or listen to those voices that tell you that you aren’t enough. It’s garbage. Once you step into the light of happiness you will wonder how you ever even tolerated mistreatment from your past partners. Enjoy your single life, live it up and have fun.

But remember the key to all of this only lies within you! You don’t need anyone else to make you happy. Someone isn’t going to magically come in and change your life. Only you hold the key to your happiness and once you’ve unlocked it your whole world will open up to opportunities and straight up magic- I’m talking unicorn tears and Lisa Frank sticker magic here. Shout out to you if you got the reference!






  1. Reply

    Celia Lindsay

    April 3, 2017

    I love love your article !!! This is exactly how I feel now. I’m working on being the best ME I can possibly can and not worrying about being “single”. Society likes to put us in a box, and like you said it is Garbage.
    Keep up the good work 🙂

    • Reply


      April 3, 2017

      Thats the best thing we can do for ourselves right? Thank you!