I know at some point or another we have all been there. You find yourself sitting in on the floor of the bathroom wondering how you got to where you are. Maybe you are again crying over another failed or toxic relationship with the type of guy you promised yourself you would never get involved with again. Maybe you’ve just come home tired and exhausted from a shift at a job that has no potential for a career, but you feel like you are stuck on the sidelines watching some of your peers realizing their goals and achieving everything they’ve ever wanted. Maybe you’re currently in the library aimlessly studying for a test that you know you will probably fail no matter how many different colored highlights you mark on the paper. I’ve been there. We’ve all been there.
My love life could definitely be the story line behind a Tyler Perry love story of a single girl who’s got it all going on but picks the wrong guy every. single. time. I’ve felt incredibly frustrated sitting through genetics wondering how I could possibly make use of this class in the future. I’ve felt like an imposter in my own classes because there was no way I was smart enough to be amongst these people in my classes and me getting into such a good school had to have been some kind of luck or mistake on the administration’s part.
What if I told you, that you have the power to change your outcome? No matter where you are in life you are in complete and total control. Now wait, I don’t want to lose you too soon. This isn’t crazy, mystical nonsense. I’m simply talking about the power of your mind and the way that you think.
You see we are in the most magical time of our lives. Our twenties force us to adapt quickly to ever-changing situations. Some of us are blessed with the ability to go to college and are thrown into a whole new world of finding ourselves. Eventually most of us are then thrown into the job world where we are required, yet again, to reinvent ourselves, or make some meaning out of what we’ve spent the last four years doing. It can be overwhelming, scary, hopeful, frustrating and exciting all at the same time.
I want you to know that you are in some control to realize your life’s greatest goals no matter how big or small. How do you do this? Stop believing you can’t. If you worry about your dreams being to big- they will be too big. What’s the secret of success? 100% whole heartedly believing in your vision and having complete and total faith that it will happen and that YOU have every ability to make it happen. You have to eliminate those negative, self-doubting thoughts from your mind. You know what I’m talking about the one that creeps up when you are looking at a job or scholarship application for something you think would be a great opportunity, but something in you stops and doubts. It whispers to you saying “Yea right, there’s no way they’d pick me for that”.
My tips for you:
Write down your goals. It’s hard to realize a goal that you haven’t really thought about. Do you want to be in a top 10 law school within two years? Make a list of them write it down. Do you want to be your happiest and healthiest self? Write it down. Do you want to be debt free? Do you want to be in a happy and loving relationship with the partner of your dreams? It all starts with a paper and a pen, or perhaps a dollar and a dream (high five if you got the reference).
Put it somewhere where you can see it. Make it the background of your phone. Frame it and put it on your desk. Make it the background of your computer. Put this list somewhere where you will see it multiple times a day and not be able to easily look over it. When you look at this list you will be reminded of what you need to be working towards that day. The harder you work on your goals the faster they come to you.
Practice gratefulness. Stop and take a moment to appreciate everything you have in your life. Your situation may not be your ideal version of how you want your life to be. But everyone has something to be grateful for. Do you have something nourishing to eat every day? Do you have a loving and caring friend or family member that believes in you when you don’t believe yourself? Are you in school? At the very least most of us are blessed beyond our wildest dreams to live lives that others die for. Try to start every day thinking about what you are most grateful for. I try to list 5 things, I just like the number 5. You won’t believe how powerful this is, it sets the tone for the rest of the day in the most amazing way.
Practice Positivity. In every way possible eliminate negativity from your life. But in doing this you have to start at the very core of yourself. The energy you give off comes back to you. If you speak into the world that you aren’t pretty enough, you aren’t smart enough, you don’t have any talent then that is what the world will see. Everything you speak comes into fruition. Once you have managed to stop the self-doubting and negativity take a look at your circle. I am talking about the people that you interact with everyday. They have so much of an influence over your life. If any of these people are emotionally draining or constantly negative, distance yourself from them. Happiness and clarity are things we have to work towards and it is your job to protect your happiness. Now, think about how you treat others. Do you treat everyone with love and respect? Everything you think is important. Do you have a hard time scrolling through Instagram without rolling your eyes and saying something shady or negative about someone? This isn’t the type of energy you want to be sending out in the world. Remember positivity starts first within you!
Cultivate yourself. Do everything within your means to realize your goal. Do something everyday your future self will thank you for and soon enough you’ll be the person of your dreams. In the mean time don’t neglect the present. Take ownership of your happiness and do things that bring you joy. Hang out with others who inspire you and radiate positivity and success. Remember that you are always in control. If you wake up to some bad news or a seemingly bad day you are in control of how you react to the news. If you want to mope and make it a bad day, then it probably will be. Recognize your thought patterns and know when they aren’t constructive.
We all have the ability to reach our full potential and have happy, healthy lives. I wish you all nothing but the absolute best in life. There are so many beautiful moments life offers us, remember to cherish those always. Our twenties are a journey and I am on this journey with you. It can be challenging and testing. But I am making the commitment to put myself first and be the best version of me I can, and I hope you do too!